pixel art image of scp-2966
-- Pixel art by @theonetruegarbo


SCP-2966

InfiniTP

Item #: SCP-2966

Object Class: Keter

Special Containment Procedures: SCP-2966 is to be contained at Outpost 117, and at no time shall any other SCP objects be contained with it. A liquid-fluoride thorium reactor is to be powered at all times, with the heat exchange directly in thermodynamic contact with SCP-2966's housing. Before usage of SCP-2966, monitors will ensure that there are at least 2.04×1017 joules of heat energy available to thermodynamically transfer into SCP-2966's housing. During use, this heat energy transfer will be carefully monitored to match the rate of matter removal.

A skeleton crew shall occupy Outpost 117, to minimize the risk of casualties. This crew shall consist of three persons trained in the maintenance and upkeep of a liquid-fluoride thorium reactor, four research personnel to monitor both SCP-2966's state and the state of the reactor, two four-man squads of security personnel to patrol a 25 km perimeter around Outpost 117's location and deter civilian entrance, and one D-class personnel to use SCP-2966.

A D-Class shall use SCP-2966 three times per day, at eight-hour intervals (0800, 1600, 2400), where use is defined as the removal of at least ten sheets from SCP-2966. Use is to be heavily monitored and contact shall be kept with the D-Class subject at all times during said use, in order to modulate the speed with which SCP-2966 is used. A regulator placed on the reactor shall accordingly adjust energy output to match inevitable changes in the rate at which SCP-2966 is used. A scale attached to SCP-2966's housing shall determine its mass at all times, and relay said information to monitoring staff.

Construction of an airstrip for jet aircraft is currently undergoing evaluation as a possible means of escape, should SCP-2966 reach the critical stage, as well as a means for connection to larger adjacent Foundation sites.

Description: SCP-2966 is an anomalous roll of █████ brand toilet paper. The roll currently averages a mass of around . kilograms, though attempting to reduce this mass is discouraged as a result of Incident 2966-35A. Toilet paper sheets removed from SCP-2966 are, beyond being incredibly effective at removing stray fecal matter, non-anomalous and energetically stable. The roll section of SCP-2966 is housed in a steel container, attached to a wall mounting, which has no means for accessing the roll for replacement or removal. Non-invasive testing of the housing has not yielded a clear picture of what is inside the housing, and invasive testing is discouraged due to SCP-2966's volatile nature. In addition, the housing serves as the main heat-sink for thermal transfer between SCP-2966 and the reactor; damaging the thermodynamic connection may result in SCP-2966 going critical.

SCP-2966 is anomalous in that it is, effectively, an infinite roll of toilet paper. Since containment started in ██/██/████, approximately ██ km of toilet paper has been removed from SCP-2966. No means of inputting mass or more toilet paper have been observed, and [REDACTED] testing has revealed no temporal retrieval of additional paper from a different location or dimension. The mechanism by which SCP-2966 accomplishes this is entirely unknown, though its effects are well understood.

SCP-2966 obeys the laws of mass/energy conservation, and through unknown means, absorbs energy from its surroundings in order to create the matter that makes up the toilet paper. One sheet of SCP-2966 weighs approximately three grams, which means that approximately 2.04×1016 joules of energy, or roughly 65 tons of TNT, is needed for one sheet of SCP-2966 to be produced.[1] It is estimated that there are ████ sheets formed within the roll of SCP-2966, or a yield of [REDACTED] megatons of TNT.

If more than ten sheets are removed at one time from SCP-2966, it will absorb the energy around it at roughly the rate at which sheets are removed. The form of energy absorbed is most often heat energy, though SCP-2966 does not appear to have a preference; testing has shown that ambient sound energy has also been decreased during use. Without an external source of energy to provide power to SCP-2966, the large amount of energy needed to form one sheet (2.04×1016 joules) is absorbed from the ambient heat of the surroundings, quickly bringing the temperature of all matter within a radius of ██ meters to near absolute zero. This has happened twice during power failures. Both times, onsite staff have sacrificed themselves to remove ten sheets, killing themselves through hypothermia instantly. While not a sustainable containment solution, such a sacrifice has prevented SCP-2966 from going critical.

If SCP-2966 is not used, it will begin to lose the matter it has gained, turned into energy once more, at a rate given as e(.██)n joules per second, where n is the number of minutes since last use. This energy is radiated away in the form of heat, and occasionally, alpha particles. The optimum balance between usage and radiation has been determined to be slightly more than eight hours, reflected in the special containment procedures. As this rate increases exponentially, SCP-2966 will reach a critical stage approximately ██ hours after last use, in which the rate of energy radiation will rapidly approach infinity. Effectively, this results in SCP-2966 converting its remaining mass entirely to energy in an instant. This is estimated to produce roughly 1x10██ joules of energy, or an explosion with a yield of ████ megatons.[2] Despite Outpost 117's remote location, a fully critical SCP-2966 situation is estimated to produce casualties in excess of what the Foundation is equipped to handle.

During usage of SCP-2966, D-Class subjects have reported an occasional decrease in room temperature. D-Class have also reported that the paper removed from SCP-2966 is exceptionally comfortable, effective, and strong. Requests for sheets removed from SCP-2966 to be re-rolled and used at Foundation facilities have been denied.

2966 Recovery Log

SCP-2966 was discovered after Foundation agents noticed an anomalous temperature drop in █████████, CA from data recorded by the National Weather Service. A subsequent investigation by Mobile Task Force Theta-19 (Rocketeers) revealed that one "Pine Range Research" had been frozen over in an area of about 1 km2, despite it being a warm summer day. Data returned by MTF Theta-19 indicates that the temperature of the area had been approximately -108 degrees Celsius, far lower than any temperature naturally recorded on Earth. As to why the area was not at absolute zero, research has suggested that the usage of SCP-2966 had occurred several hours earlier, in which the Sun had time to warm the area.

MTF Theta-19 breached the building, and found that all present in the building had been killed as a result of the temperature drop. A researcher, later identified as Dr. ███████ ██████████, was discovered apparently giving a demonstration to several others, holding SCP-2966. The effects of SCP-2966 rendered all electronics within the site corrupted, thus no data could be obtained as to how SCP-2966 was created. However, MTF Theta-19 did discover a handwritten journal belonging to Dr. ███████ ██████████ in his office, and while the pages were covered in frost, parts of the journal were recovered and able to be read. See Document 2966-01.

Several locals had noticed the rapid temperature drop. A cover story of a ruptured liquid nitrogen tank was disseminated, and Class A amnestics administered. SCP-2966 was studied in situ in the following hours after a secure perimeter had been established, its properties determined, and successfully contained.

Document 2966-01

██/██/████:

Today, we've achieved a breakthrough in toilet paper technology. Not a single man will need to feel the burning pain of an uncleaned nether region ever again! Moreover, this will likely make me exceedingly rich, once we figure out how to make other paper products, like tissues, and maybe even plates!


██/██/████:

A minor setback has occurred with the InfiniTP project. We can't produce cellulose fibers fast enough to make a truly infinite roll. A possible solution is the liberal application of halved hafnium, otherwise known as quarternium. While exceedingly rare, and expensive, sacrifices must be made in the pursuit of science!

While the others call me a fool, I should think that in this day and age, anyone with a doctorate should be able to understand others' work, even if it's in a different branch. That's just good science, if you can write well enough for the layman to understand. Who cares if I'm a botanist? I should be able to decipher Dr. █████'s paper on quarternium.

Note: No such element known as "quarternium" exists.


██/██/████:

The housing is complete. We've added the initial paper, and soon, the quarternium-[REDACTED] alloy will be complete, for insertion into the hyperbaric containment field. Of course, the yotta-rays have proven themselves to be an issue, but they shouldn't terribly hamper the production of fermion pairs.

Note: Rest of entry is illegible.


██/██/████:

It appears that the threshold energy for fermion-pair production is slightly higher than my calculations suggest. No matter. I'll just re-work the calculations with Fermi-Estimation, and that should put us in a good place to test tomorrow. Soon, the world will never need toilet paper again!

Note: After this entry are several partially legible equations, solved by hand. Thorough hand-calculations were done by Foundation physicists with the same constants, which revealed that Dr. ██████████ had apparently misplaced the square in E=mc2 early in his work. This led to substantially lower energies than in reality, possibly reinforcing Dr. ██████████'s idea that he could create matter from energy safely.

Incident 2966-35A

On ██/██/████, Test 2966-35A was conducted, in attempt to see if a reduction in mass could be achieved by rapid removal of SCP-2966 sheets while supplying an excess of energy. This resulted in SCP-2966 immediately going critical. The subsequent energy release of ██×10██ joules destroyed Outpost 117 and resulted in ██ casualties. Due to Outpost 117's remote location, no non-Foundation casualties were reported. SCP-2966 was recovered unharmed, and weighed ███ grams less. Outpost 117 has since been rebuilt and containment re-established.

Footnotes

  1. When inputted into Einstein's mass/energy equivalency equation, E=mc2

  2. Compared with the Tsar Bomba, at a yield of 50 megatons.