SCP-3512

Investigation Notes

15 July 2016: Landed 16:15. Hot here - hotter than Boston was, and no breeze to speak of. Agent Rey met me at the hotel, offered to show me the city skyline. I said no, thought we'd get going, but he was in no hurry. Cultural thing, maybe? Shame if I was rude, but I could do with the sleep.

16 July 2016: Still hot. Rey finally showed at 10:15. Still, my director says he gets results - and he's pretty much the only Foundation here. Headed to meet the victims - got coffee first.

Have to admit, Rey does well with the locals. Our cover is a mental health survey for the WHO, and he plays a convincing doctor. Interviews productive - see tapes.

Observations: families aren't involved. They're too genuinely shocked - Rey had to work to calm and persuade them. Victims are no help - symptoms as per initial report, they have no awareness of how changed they are - how plastic and unreal. I think that scares the families more than the screaming.

This doesn't feel like a basic coghaz - something about their eyes, the change isn't superficial. They're so sincere in their delusion. So "up for it".

17 July 2016: More interviews today - not much new. The same smiles from the girls, the same crying families. We tested amnestics - nothing. If it's memetic, it goes deeper than memory.

One possibility: a younger sister mentioned something I recognised from yesterday's tapes. "Apagada". I thought "cancelled", but Rey tells me the Catalan is more like "blackout". We ask some of the victims, and the screaming starts immediately. A mother shakes her head - it's a nightclub, her Teia always talked about going, the mother knew it was trouble.

Later, I ask Rey. He knows it. It's open tomorrow night.

18 July 2016: Rey comes to get me at 21:00, laughs at what I'm wearing. Not like I planned on clubbing. He tells me his sister may have something I can use. I'm worried we'll be late, but apparently nothing opens before midnight. His sister I like - teases Rey about his shirt, finds something reasonable for me. Doesn't ask why I need it.

Of course the club is dark. Loud, hot, crowded. I feel like I stand out - Rey tells me not to worry. He's good - moving around the room, talking to people, fitting in. Better for me to wait on my own, see who approaches.

Plenty do, but no-one interesting. Until around 2:00. Blond guy, tall, slides in next to me at the bar, and offers to buy me a drink. He asks me my favourite star, and I think it's the start of a bad pick-up line, then realise he's serious. Something about him - confident, charming, but too much eye contact. Speech too precise. Not drunk enough.

My eyes flick over to see where Rey is, and the guy spots it. Suddenly he's leaving, pushing through the crowds. By the time I get outside, he's gone, but I get lucky. 20 euros and the doorman tells me he's a regular. Another 20 gets me a name - Josep Oriol.

19 July 2016: Oriol is now officially a PoI. Rey used a contact, turned up an address. Oriol wasn't home, looks like he didn't come home, but the flat is full of incriminating stuff. Rey is submitting full photos, but three things stood out.

First, a bunch of architectural plans - buildings, utilities, railway tunnels. Oriol is a software developer - what does he need those for?

A book sitting on the kitchen table, free of clutter: used regularly. Looks like a publisher's proof - plain cover, simple type. Didn't open it without coghaz screening, but it just had that feeling.

And next to the book, some kind of fucked-up sculpture lying on a dishcloth. Like a blob of candle-wax, carved into points and with - well, it looked like legs stuck into it. Pieces of Lego and Meccano, rose stems, a crab claw, a corkscrew. What I think was a skeleton key.

Rey called me into the bedroom, and there were boxes full of the same kind of stuff. Bodkins, quills, doll's limbs, wire. Syringes. I pulled him into the kitchen to show him the sculpture - and it was gone.[1]

20:30: Back at the hotel. I've been reading the book - started by using the filters, but there's no coghaz here. Just really weird shit. This whole thing feels off.[2]

23:45: Command just came back with information on the architectural plans - the majority match up with municipal records, but not all. A schematic of the high-speed rail tunnel has a side passage that should not be there. It seems to lead to a spiral staircase, heading downward. I've confirmed with Command - we're going tonight to investigate. Maybe we'll catch up with Mr Oriol and find out how much he knows.

SCP-3512-1 is the collective designation for a category of objects or entities described in Chapter Twelve [18] of SCP-3512-2. Each instance consists of a central mass composed of carved adipose tissue, with twelve loosely attached appendages or limbs used for locomotion and other actions. The text describes SCP-3512-1 instances with a central mass approximately 5cm in diameter, and using simple household objects for the appendages.

No active instances have been contained, although sites of investigation have yielded evidence of discarded SCP-3512-1 limbs.

Of the SCP-3512-1 instances observed by Foundation personnel, the largest had a total diameter of approximately 3.5 meters, with each of its appendages composed of a human spine tipped with a muculent gastropod foot. The limbs were ‎regularly distributed around the central mass, attached by a loose conglomeration of animal ligaments and metal chains.

Several detached appendages of this instance were recovered by Mobile Task Force Zeta-9 ("Mole Rats") in explorations of the caverns beneath North-East Barcelona, following Incident 3512/A.

Sentient behaviour of SCP-3512-1 instances has been observed, and the text of SCP-3512-2 suggests a degree of sapience. The relevant extract of SCP-3512-2 is included in the addendum below.

Items recovered from the apartment of PoI-3512-5 (Josep Oriol) include an advance review copy of a book entitled "The More You Know: A Pick-Up Artist's Bible", classified as SCP-3512-2. The author is referred to by the pseudonym "Enigma"; no publication information is included in the copy.

The book is non-fiction, consisting of 625 pages and containing a foreword attributed to hip-hop artist Snoop Dogg. Each of the first eleven chapters is based on the "seduction community", providing anecdotes, advice and techniques for men to influence social groups, and attract and seduce women. The remaining twelve chapters (each labelled "Chapter Twelve") diverge from the main text on a range of esoteric subjects including advanced geometric proofs, the interpretation of dreams, do-it-yourself surgical techniques, symbolism in architecture and anomalous rituals. The book's afterword is composed of more than 15,000 anagrams of the book's title, laid out in spiral and triangular patterns.

Excerpts from SCP-3512-2

Chapter One - The More You Know

If you're reading this book, you're probably a bit of a loser. Don't make that face: you know it, and I know it. The whole reason you're reading this is to stop being a loser - to get more confident in social situations, to feel comfortable talking to women, to understand the complexities of modern dating. Oh yeah, and (let's not kid ourselves) to get laid - like, a lot.

My name is Enigma, and I am going to show you how to do all this and more, with my sure-fire methods to seduce women. Hot women - hotter than you dare dream possible. Trust me: I used to be just like you. Now, I drive a Lambo, wear a Hublot, and can bang any chick I want. Cocky? Sure. But you know you want to be a star like me. And with my blend of social psychology, neuro-linguistic programming and good old-fashioned balls, you can be any kind of star you want. Because the more you know, the more you score.

…

Chapter Four - Hot Women: Our Key

… what you would normally do in that situation. But not any more. Now that you've learned the basic rules of the Game, you can start on your path to higher things.

The first thing you need to do is stop thinking of hot women as women. In fact, stop thinking about them as people. Think of them like instruments - before you can play them, you need to know how to tune them. This chapter will show you how to find the resonance frequency of any woman …

Chapter Twelve [12]: You Know Theorem

… which brings us to the small stellated dodecahedron, a nonconvex regular polyhedron composed of twelve pentagrammic faces, with each of the twelve vertices forming the meeting point of five pentagrams. Its Schläfli symbol is {5/2 , 5}, a fact I have dropped into many a flirtatious conversation, to great effect.

The small stellated dodecahedron has long been known in artistic circles as a potent aphrodisiac and as a cure for impotence. The works of M.C. Escher (who knew how to pull) and Paolo Uccello (whose name literally means "bird") are obvious examples.[ [3] ] Uccello's father was a barber-surgeon, a common profession in the 14th century: they did everything from a quick shave to amputating limbs. The more you know!

So put yourself back in that imaginary bar, but this time, with a small stellated dodecahedron in your pocket…

Chapter Twelve [14]: Where to, You Monk?

… The Italians don't have the monopoly on shapely figures. There are many tricks and tips that you can learn from Spain - home of Don Juan and Torquemada. First, let's talk about Gaudí.

Antoni Gaudí lived like a monk so that you don't have to. Ascetic, unsociable and celibate, he channelled his energies into architecture of the most profound and powerful nature.

Gaudí was the opposite of everything I've told you to be. By the end of his life, he was dishevelled, skinny and never spoke to women. Gaudí was beaten in a mob, imprisoned, and eventually struck by a tram and killed - far from being recognised, he was mistaken for a beggar. So why would I even bring him up? Because Gaudí understood that everything has a purpose, and that organic and anarchic forms can be used to capture beauty and fix it in place forever. This is something we'll explore further over the next chapters.

Gaudí's Basílica i Temple Expiatori de la Sagrada Família stood unconsecrated for 128 years. You can see it in Figure 27, rising inexorably out of the shattered rock, black goats drawn to it as if called…

Chapter Twelve [18]: We Took Our Hymen

[ Note: this chapter appears to refer to the construction and use of SCP-3512-1 instances. ]

… make a rough ball of the materials you've harvested, and place it in the freezer for 6-12 hours. Pork fat can be used, but will have less satisfactory results. Who knew, right?

While you wait, you can prepare the limbs. Concentrate on articulation rather than strength. You may want to add simple tools to some limbs, if the object of your desire is more careful than most, but remember that the more complicated you make them, the more precise your sculpting will need to be. Lay your prepared limbs out on a clean, flat surface.

Once your adipose preparation has had time to freeze, carefully carve it into the shape you learned in Chapter Twelve. You will know it is ready when you see it start smiling at you. Now introduce the limbs - they should "take" almost immediately.

Wait until your intended is likely to be sleeping, then concentrate your thoughts on her face, and particularly the inside of her mouth and throat. Soon you'll see your new friend scurry off, ready to help you establish social dominance.

Chapter Twelve [19]: Ewok Tumor-Honey

… Double check that your scissors are comfortably within reach, with the blades sitting over the flame of your stove, or under the oven grill if you don't have gas. If you have parents or siblings with you, now is a good time to check that their bindings are tight. Don't be tempted to start with them first - this way is more difficult, but if seduction was easy, everyone would do it.

Now, with your right hand, get a firm grip on your left little finger. Take a deep breath. Then pull down sharply towards the side of your left hand. Your little finger should make a clean snapping sound. If not, take another deep breath and try again. Next, take the scissors…

Chapter Twelve [23]: Nuke-worthy Romeo

If you wish to know, you must look deeper.

As below, so below. As below, so below. As below, so below. As below, so below. As below, so below. As below, so below. As below, so below. As below, so below. As below, so below. As below, so below. As…

[ Note: the remaining pages of this chapter were torn out. It is presumed that they were removed by Agent Cooper in advance of her investigation of the underground passages identified in PoI-3512-5's tunnel schematics (see Incident 3512/A). ]

Exploration Logs - Incident 3512/A

Recording source: Body-cameras of Agent Cooper and Agent Rey

Location: Uncharted cavern system beneath Barcelona, Spain

Date: 20 July 2016 - recording commences 1:07am local time

Both agents' body-cams are set for low-light conditions. The agents walk slowly down a narrow spiral staircase made from smooth stone. Agent Cooper's flashlight illuminates the stairs below. Agent Rey is following.

<echoing footsteps>

Agent Cooper: Okay, we're probably about eighty feet below the rail tunnel now.

Agent Rey: How far down do these bastard stairs go?

Agent Cooper: No idea.

Agent Rey: Surely we could continue this investigation back at the club?

Agent Cooper: I'm not sure what you were doing counts as investigation.

Agent Rey: Ah, you Americans don't know how to live your lives.

Agent Cooper: I've reached the bottom. You don't have much further.

Agent Cooper stands in a low room, shining her flashlight between three tunnel entrances. Agent Rey walks forward to join her.

Agent Rey: Thank God. So which passage do we take?

Agent Cooper's camera picks up a movement some way down the left-hand tunnel. The agents do not appear to notice.

Agent Cooper: I say the centre. Smoothest floor, makes sense it's used the most.

Agent Rey: You're the boss. They all look equally dark and unpleasant to -

Agent Cooper: Sh! Did you hear something?

Agent Rey: Nothing. Maybe the trains?

Agent Cooper: I don't think so - it's too late for that. And it sounded… different. Let's get going. But quietly.

The agents proceed into the tunnel, walking for approximately 12 minutes along a gradual downward slope. The walls and ceiling are also slanted slightly inwards, gradually reducing the size of the tunnel.

Agent Cooper: Looks like a chamber up ahead.

Agent Rey: About time!

The agents emerge into a larger room. Passages continue ahead and to the left, and stone steps lead up to a hole in the ceiling. The walls and ceiling are elaborately carved into abstract organic shapes. The agents separate, looking at the chamber walls.

Agent Rey: It looks like they're melted.

Agent Cooper: I think that's decoration.

Agent Rey: <Looking up the steps> This place must be enormous. You think we're under the Basilica right now?

Agent Cooper: Could be - aah!

Agent Rey: Cooper! You okay?

Agent Rey runs across to Agent Cooper, who is standing by an alcove in the right-hand wall.

Agent Rey: D‎éu n'hi do!

Agent Cooper: God, what is that?

There is a small shape in the alcove. The camera moves closer, revealing a tight bundle of amputated human fingers, pointing outwards.

Agent Rey: Who are these people?

Agent Cooper: It's your city. Okay, let's keep going.

Agent Rey draws his service weapon. Both agents move cautiously into the tunnel opposite the entrance. A dark, viscous substance covers the upper third of the tunnel, shining in the torchlight and occasionally forming large droplets that splatter on the floor.

Agent Rey: What is that shit?

Agent Cooper: Try not to get it on you. We'll take samples on the way back.

The tunnel curves, changing direction regularly, including several steep descents. The agents continue walking for approximately 15 minutes. A whirring mechanical sound slowly becomes audible.

Agent Rey: Can you feel that? The air feels warmer.

Agent Cooper: Another chamber ahead - looks larger.

Agent Rey: Eugh. What is that smell?

Agent Cooper: Oh - that's awful.

The agents emerge into a large natural cavern. Its total size is not clear - the flashlight beams do not reach its far side. Stalactites hang from the roof, and have been carved with shapes including orchids, barnacles and rows of human teeth. The mechanical noise is louder.

The agents walk slowly across the cave floor, scanning with their torches.

Agent Rey: <muffled> The fuck is that?

Agent Cooper: <gagging noises>

The agents reach the banks of a wide, slow-moving river. The surface is pallid and gelatinous, churning with the sluggish current. Downstream, the river flows into a low tunnel.

Agent Rey: A goddamn river of fat. Look at it - it's like it's alive.

Agent Cooper: Congealed lard and grease - must be thousands of gallons. That's where the smell is coming from, and the heat - I bet it's oily underneath that top layer.

Agent Rey: Hey, look - on the other side!

The flashlights shine across the river, revealing three industrial-sized book printing machines. Each is operating noisily, although no electrical connection is evident.

Agent Cooper: One guess as to what they're printing.

Agent Rey: There's no way across. And no exits.

Agent Cooper: That river is flowing somewhere.

Agent Rey: Go into that tiny tunnel? No way. Get the Mole Rats in this shit.

Agent Rey walks across to the other side of the cave, flashlight beam waving.

Agent Cooper: Okay, okay. Let me get some samples, and then we can go back and try some other passages.

Agent Rey turns.

Agent Rey: Look, you can be a neula if you want to, but I -

Agent Rey freezes in place, flashlight pointed at the ceiling.

Agent Cooper: Rey?

Agent Rey: <whispering> Above you. Slowly.

Agent Cooper: What? What is it?

Agent Cooper leans back, and the camera tilts upwards. On the ceiling is an SCP-3512-1 instance approximately 3.5m across, with a central mass 1.5m in diameter. The instance has limbs composed of human spines. Four of these limbs are clinging to a stalactite directly above Agent Cooper, with the others reaching downwards. Agent Cooper raises her service weapon.

Agent Rey: Fuck, it's huge.

Agent Cooper: It's smiling at me. Why is it smiling at me?

Agent Rey: Cooper, what are you - Cooper!

The SCP-3512-1 instance drops from the roof towards Agent Cooper. Agent Cooper fires several shots, appearing to strike the limbs of the instance without effect. The central mass of the SCP-3512-1 instance lands directly on top of Agent Cooper, and her body camera is obscured by a white substance.

Agent Rey's camera films the SCP-3512-1 instance moving towards the river, with Agent Cooper embedded in its central mass. Agent Cooper struggles briefly, and her body then goes limp.

Agent Rey: Vés a la merda.

The SCP-3512-1 instance jumps into the river of fat, dragging Agent Cooper with it.

Agent Rey's body-camera is switched off, and does not reactivate.

Agent Cooper's body-camera remains obscured, but records the wet, sucking noises of the underground river.

20 minutes pass.

Suddenly, the body-camera is no longer obscured, and refocuses to show a very large domed chamber, dimly lit. The river drops from the upper wall of one side of the chamber in a waterfall of curdled fat, and faint splattering sounds can be heard. The microphone also picks up laboured breathing, but no speech.

The view turns to show the opposite side of the dome. This contains an expansive fresco, depicting the Virgin Mary, pregnant, chained to a star-shaped rack by her ankles, wrists and neck. At the base of the figure's throat, a pipe protrudes from the fresco, emitting dark smoke that drifts slowly downwards.

The camera leans forward. The floor of the chamber is partially obscured by smoke, but movement is visible beneath. Moving lower, the camera reveals many hundreds of small SCP-3512-1 instances, in constant motion around and over each other.

Agent Cooper: <indistinct> Hello? Anyone?

Agent Cooper's body-camera rises and moves at a swift walk across the chamber. The movement stirs up the smoke, allowing a clearer view of the chamber floor. There is a human figure lying face-down on the floor, around 30 metres from the camera.

Agent Cooper: <louder> Hello? Who's there?

The SCP-3512-1 instances on the floor are avoiding the prone figure, leaving a circle of empty flagstones around it. As the camera approaches, the figure turns. It is Agent Cooper.

Agent Cooper: <giggling> Wow, that was intense. But I could dance some more, you know? Woo! <screaming>

Agent Cooper looks up and ceases screaming. She smiles, twisting the ends of her hair with her fingers.

Agent Cooper: Hey, wait a second. What's your name, handsome?

The figure wearing the body-camera reaches towards Agent Cooper. Its hand is covered in raw cuts across the palm and wrist. Seven additional fingers protrude from the wounds. All fingers appear to be mobile.

The hand pushes Agent Cooper's hair back from her face, caressing her cheek.

Unidentified: <heavy, ragged breathing>

Agent Cooper: Aw, you're funny and sweet.

Agent Cooper nuzzles her face against the figure's hand, briefly sucking on one of the additional fingers.

Agent Cooper: <laughing> Hey baby, come here.

Agent Cooper reaches up toward the figure. She removes the combat vest containing the body-camera, and places it on the floor of the chamber. The camera is obscured by SCP-3512-1 instances crawling over the vest, and by the thick smoke.

The camera records the scratching and skittering noises of the SCP-3512-1 instances. In the background, indistinct grunting sounds can be heard. These continue for a period of approximately seven minutes, and then cease.

Two minutes later, there is a sharp scream and the distant sound of an object landing heavily. The movement of the SCP-3512-1 instances intensifies, becoming frenzied. The camera rises as the combat vest is picked up. It is abruptly thrown downwards, falling through the smoke into a pit in the floor of the chamber.

The camera falls approximately twenty metres, landing on what appears to be a number of human corpses piled in the centre of the pit. Light conditions are very low, and the camera's view is obscured by a female face in the early stages of putrefaction. It remains able to record sound.

Agent Cooper: <calling out> Baby, don't go.

A heavy scraping noise is heard from above, and the light grows dimmer.

Agent Cooper: Baby, I hurt my leg. Stay with me?

Several other female voices can be heard calling out from within the pit. The camera's view becomes completely dark.

Over the next 28 hours, the camera records the sounds of at least eight female voices. Vocalisations consist primarily of laughter, screaming and indistinct speech. There is no increase in light levels.

Agent Cooper is heard clearly only once, when she approaches the camera's position after approximately 20 hours.

Agent Cooper: I'm hungry. <giggling>

The camera's position is disturbed slightly, and then settles.

At around 26 hours, a deep grinding sound reverberates from below the camera's position. It continues for four minutes, during which the voices in the pit fall silent. The camera records for a further 2 hours in darkness before its batteries expire.

Afterword: Foundation investigators discovered Agent Cooper's body-camera at the top of the spiral staircase, near the entrance to the caverns. It was no longer attached to her combat vest. While MTF Zeta-9 has gained access to the caves, exploration and geophysical imaging of the cavern system has not located any of the other areas filmed in these logs. Neither Agent Cooper nor Agent Rey has been recovered.