SCP-666-J
Dr. Gerald's Driving Skills
Dr. Gerald was told to take an ordinary school bus full of D-class to a nearby site. He somehow managed to end up in a demolition derby.
How the hell did he manage that with an electrically-powered segway?
Item #: SCP-666-J
Object Class: Euclid
Special Containment Procedures: D-Class and Gerald are the only ones allowed to get on any vehicle that Dr. Gerald happens to be driving. Prepare a number of body bags equivalent to the number of passengers on any vehicle that he happens to drive, minus himself. Additionally, medical teams must be on standby if Dr. Gerald will be traveling through a populated area, or any form of potentially hazardous environment (e.g., a nuclear power plant, chemical refining plant).
Description: All individuals who board any vehicle or form of transportation that Dr. Gerald himself is controlling in any form are assured to die. Testing has shown that even those who escape vehicles he's been driving are doomed; they are generally struck by another moving vehicle within minutes. Dr. Gerald himself, oddly enough, always survives whatever horrors he puts a vehicle through.
The results of Dr. Gerald driving through the town of [REDACTED] on a moped.
Additionally, all potentially hazardous objects seem to become even more dangerous if he is manning a vehicle in their general vicinity. Knives penetrate more than their sharpness would accord, normally benign oil tankers become moving bombs that will detonate with the slightest touch, buildings lose any significant rigidity, and pedestrians seem to lose all forms of self-preservation, throwing themselves into his path. A mere bicycle ride can inflict the devastation of a T3 tornado.
Addendum 666-1: Dr. Gerald is never to come within 25 meters of SCP-462.
Addendum 666-2: Plans are being made to construct a vehicle which can contain SCP-682 long enough for Dr. Gerald to actually drive it.
A research team hypothesized that rollerblades are, technically, vehicles. We tested their hypothesis by having Gerald skate into the ORIA's headquarters in Tehran. They were right.
10:07 AM, March 15, 2███. Approximate velocity: 4███ km/h
10:11 AM, March 15, 2███. Death toll: ██
We have this tract of land over in ████████, ███████, just in case we have some sort of vehicular SCP that needs to be decommissioned. Coincidentally, it's also the only place that Dr. Gerald is able to drive without permission.